A "CLAM" is a comedy writer's term for a joke or form of joke that is old hat, overused, played out. It's the worst sin a comedy writer can commit -- to put a clam in your script. (That's why I rate my reviews in CLAMS -- Five Clams being the worst (FAMILY GOY) and Zero Clams being the best (STUDIO 60). And the cockamamie thing is that the ground is always changing. A joke can be fresh one moment and a clam the next, such is comedy.
For instance, when I came up with it back in 19-never-you-mind-how-long-ago, "Too much information" was the hottest gag to hit the sitcom world since Lucy met Ricky.
When it was uttered by the late great Nell Carter on an episode of "Gimme A Break" I penned, it detonated in that studio like an Atomic freakin' bomb! They had to stop tape, the laugh went on for so long. It made Sammy Davis kissing Archie Bunker look like "Death Of A Salesman" was how new and fresh that was. Now, 20 or so years later, having a character respond to another by saying "Too much information" is hopelessly old hat. It is a CLAM. Do not use it. And certainly don't use it four times in one script. I learned that when I submitted my spec "According to Jim" to my agent's hot-shit young coffee-getting monkey who now for some reason says he's my agent. Here's another CLAM for you: "Don't call us, we'll call you." Sadly, that CLAM is still being used. Godddamn them all to Hell!!!
That last part I didn't want to be on this thing, but I can't figure out how to make my son's computer erase it, so there you have it. Look for more Glossary items in the future, though I don't know how many more, because once I start work on "Studio 60" I won't have time for this nonsense.
