A NATION MOURNS




















... the death of COMEDY! See, that's what we call a rug-pull. The title and photo set you up for a post about Anna Nicole What's-Her-Rack and then I pulled the rug out from under you to lead into my real topic....

HAROLD'S MINI REVIEW #3: I GAVE AT "THE OFFICE" -- NOT A CRAP, THAT IS.



So, this is comedy? Could somebody out there explain to me how any of this is funny? The lead guy, the 40 year old virgin, is a complete retard. The other guy with the glasses is a moron and the other guy, Joe Handsome, just sits there gaping at the frumpy girl like he just did a load in his pants, and then does some kind of half-smile every two seconds. Again, I ask you -- where are the jokes? Where are the laughs? In my day (and, in my mind, this is still "my day" because I ain't done yet!), a comedy show had jokes and laughs. Real honest to goodness laughs laughed by real honest to goodness people. Sure, some of these people had been recorded years ago and were probably dead by now, but at least they were laughing! They were telling you: "THIS IS A COMEDY... THAT WAS A FUNNY JOKE... YOU SHOULD LAUGH TOO." I don't know what happened all a sudden than comedies don't have jokes or laughs. ANd this thing, this "OFFICE"... it's like The Emperor's New Suit or something. The whole world and the critics (more on those pencilschlongs in another post) fall all over it and suddenly we're all supposed to fall on our knees and kiss this show's butt. Not this critic. See, I know comedy. Comedy is funny. This... I don't know what it is. And what the hell is this looking at the camera all the time??? That is the epitome of unprofessionalism! Where is the director when all this is happening? Calling his email broker or something? It just makes me sad.

Well, at least we still have "According To Jim".

HAROLD'S SCORE: 4 CLAMS OUT OF FIVE. (I'll take one off for that it's only a ripoff of an English show, so the saps putting this out aren't completely to blame.)

NO POST TODAY


Sorry, fans, but I'm not up to it. Seems Mr. Aaron "Family Don't Mean Nothing" Sorkin did not see fit to hire Hecuba for his pile of dog-puke show "Studio 60 On The Sunset SHIT!" (Pun very much intended.)

I just don't know anymore. My spec Lou Grant was great!




It was great 25 years ago when I wrote it with my late partner! It had it all -- laughs (Great B-story with Animal and Rossi), drama (will Mrs. Pynchon pull a hard-hitting story on corruption at the Department of Streets?), and it had something not found anywhere within a hundred miles of SORE-KIN... HEART! The scene where Lou tells the girl, what's her name, that he'd rather have her in his newsroom than a boatful of Joseph Alsops. I'm crying all over again.

So okay, maybe this kid BORE-KIN, (who I once saw in diapers!!!) didn't "GET" my Lou Grant. I don't see how, but for the sake of argument we'll say okay. Not his cup of hack tea. Fine. But does loyalty to a man who served in the Marines with your father forty-five years ago mean nothing today? Like I said, I don't know. Well screw WHORE-KIN and his whole stupid, badly written, totally bullshit when it comes to the facts of how TV is produced show. I don't need his charity! I have you, my loyal readers to entertain. And if I get just one chuckle out of somebody sitting at their computer screen, then it'll be better than all the phony pats on the back I'd have got from FRAUD-KIN. I hope his show gets ball cancer! You read right... BALL CANCER! Let it die like Beverly Hills Buntz! (Another show run by a jerk who didn't "Get" my Lou Grant.




You hear me BOTCH-CO?!! You can all go to hell. I've had it with this business.

Well, that's it for now. Maybe I'll feel like being funny tomorrow, who knows. You all get off the computer and hug your kids, because that's what it's all about.

HAROLD'S MINI REVIEW #2: "STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP" or... "The BEST Wing".



This is a show, people. Quite frankly, it's got it all and then some. Drama, laughs, dramatic laughs, funny drama. It's a work of genius. A genius named Aaron Sorkin. Now he's taken a lot of guff from some other so-called comedy writers for his take on the profession in the show within the show. Well that's just bull! Based on my experience, this show is right on the money. Not all comedy writers are sloppy thieving hacks -- but MOST of 'em are. Sorkin is just telling it like it is. I've worked with hundreds of writers over my years in this business, and, yes, they are prone to slobbering over Chinese food like a bunch of pinhead morons. And, yes, they all steal jokes, stories, and entire scripts ALL THE TIME. Don't believe me? Examine the evidence: THE FLINTSONES. Merely a rip-off of The Honeymooners. THE JETSONS. A rip-off of The Flinstones. THE OFFICE? Merely a rip-off of COLUCCI'S DEPARTMENT (look that up on your You Tube if you don't believe me. What's that? It's not on You Tube? How convenient.)

Studio 60 tells it like it is, or at least how I remember it was, since nobody in the business seems fit to return my calls or read my material these days. Except.... Aaron Sorkin. HIs dad was in the Marines with me so he's put in a good word for old Hec.



To wit, Aaron is now reading yours truly's spec "Lou Grant"... the granddaddy of the whole dramedy genre. My fingers are crossed (but not for much longer once my arthritis prescription runs out) and I hope to be back in the game soon.

HAROLD'S VERDICT: ZERO CLAMS OUT OF FIVE CLAMS. To quote the kids.... this show is da bomb's pajamas!
Studio 60 is genius and I can't wait to put words in that brilliant mouth of Mr. Bradley Whitford. Well, I'm off to lunch at Nate N' Al's with my old buddies from the "Chico" days. And this time I'M buying!